Kids say the darndest things

1. A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossib...le. The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".

2. A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."

6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples

Have you laughed so hard your belly hurts? You will after watching this

Trick or Treat

 Gideon the puppy

 Zenock was Bumblebee and refused to smile

 Ammon was Optimus Prime

And this is our trunk of vampire teeth. The boys insisted on helping draw the blood, so it's not as authentic looking as I was hoping to get, but they were so happy to help. We put some purple lights inside the mouth and orange lights outlining the whole thing. We had a chili dinner in the parkinglot. I made the best chili.....in my humble opinion. There were some carnival games in the gym, and lots and lots of candy being passed around. I think my boys went around to everyone 3 times. The weather was perfect. It was a blast!

Busy day

Last night I ran out of laundry detergent and dishwashing liquid detergent. Since I am finally out, I decided to get busy making my own because I have had the recipes for a while now. They are super easy and super cheap.

Laundry soap

1 bar fels naphta  -- $0.97 @ walmart – one per batch

½ cup borax  --$ 4.79 @ Smiths – 76 oz box makes abt 10 batches

1 cup washing soda  -- $3.59 @ Smiths – 55 oz box makes abt 5 batches

= abt $2.16 per batch

= abt 160 loads per batch

= abt $0.02 per load

Grate soap with cheese grater (I cheated and used my Kitchenaid attachment). Pour in pot with 4 cups water. Cook on medium heat until soap is mostly melted – just a few tiny chunks is ok. Add to 5 gallon bucket. Add borax and soda. Add hot water until bucket is ½ full. Stir well until mixed and smooth. Add water to almost top of bucket. Stir and put on lid. Stir every few hours throughout day or leave overnight. Stir very well next morning. May have to use hands to break up goopy chunks – very therapeutic J. Pour carefully into a smaller container with measuring lid like fabric softener container or small detergent container. Shake well before each use. Pour one cupful in each load. Will have to use bleach or oxyclean as well to keep whites from graying.

Dishwasher detergent

½ cup kosher salt – $1.25 @ smiths – 48 oz box makes abt 5 batches

1 cup lemi shine – $4.19 @ smiths – 1 container is 1.5 batches

1 cup washing soda – $3.59 @ smiths – 55 oz box is abt 5 batches

1 cup borax – $4.79@ smiths – 76 oz box is abt 5 batches

= $4.72 per batch

= abt 56 loads per batch

= abt $0.08 per load

Mix all ingredients. Let sit with lid off for one day, stirring often. This makes it less clumpy. Use 1 tbsp per load.

A change in our family

Ok, so now that we made the big announcement to our families, it's time to make it public news. We are expanding our family by 2 feet, and I am due May 29, 2012. We are all very excited. We have known for a couple of weeks, but it took a while to decide how to tell everyone. Yes I am sick, yes I am tired, yes food is my enemy - especially food commercials and dinner smells - and given that I am very thankful for a husband who is willing to make dinner and entertain the boys. We are happy that Gideon will have a partner in crime, as they will be only 16 months apart. Welcome to this new adventure. Enjoy the ride with us :)

Whole wheat bread recipe

Here is a pretty good bread recipe.

3 cups warm water
1/3 cup applesauce
1/3 cup honey
3 T yeast
1 T salt
3 T vital wheat gluten
3 T dough enhancer
5-6 cups whole wheat flour

Mix first 7 ingredients together until well blended using Kitchenaid mixer and paddle. Add wheat flour until dough clean sides and bottom of bowl. Switch to dough hook. Knead dough on medium speed for 8 minutes. Divide dough in two and shape into loaves. Put in greased bread pan and let raise until double in size. Bake at 350* for about 30 minutes.

My kitchen was cold today, so it didn't raise as much as I wanted it too, but it still tastes good. And that's what really counts right? I think if I keep making bread every week I'm going to wear out my mixer by the end of the year. The poor thing is older than me, so I guess that's okay, but I'm gonna miss it when it's gone. I wonder if I can find a bigger size in lime green. Wouldn't that be awesome? I would love to be able to make like 4 or 5 loaves of dough at the same time.