Thursday, December 27, 2012

Sleep deprived

Sleep training babies is the worst kind of self-inflicted mom torture I know. I'm trying to get Ayla to sleep by herself all night, which means when she wakes up she cries and cries until she cries herself back to sleep. It makes me feel like a horrible mother, but I have to train her for my own sanity later on. I don't want to have her waking up at night to eat anymore. She's seven months old, plenty old to be going 8 or 9 hours without food at night. Last night I was up with Ayla from 2-3am and 6-6:30am, with Gideon from 4-5am. Thanks to Brady I got 6 hours of sleep instead of four. He stayed up late to get the kids breakfast and has to leave for work again at 5pm tonight. It's going to be a long day for both of us. Honestly it's nights/days like this when I wish for all my kids to be 8 yrs or older. I feel like we are going to be in the baby/toddler stage forever.

Sometimes I wish I could work to have an opportunity for a break from the kids. It's REALLY hard being at home with them all day. Most of the time by 4 or 5pm my "mom batteries" are dying and I have difficulty being patient and kind with them. Gideon is at that particulary hard stage where he can't communicate very well, he wants to do EVERYTHING his brothers are doing, and he get's very frustrated when they are doing things other than playing with him. Christmas break is especially hard because they want to get all the movie watching and wii playing in they can since during the regular school week they don't get to do those things. They also recieved some Christmas presents that are absolutely not toddler friendly, so they can only play with them when Gideon is sleeping.

Next year isn't going to be any better since both Ayla and Gideon will be in that same developmental stage. I know my mom survived having three kids in 2.5 years, so I know I will survive too.....but that knowledge doesn't really make things easier. The days go by so long and slow, but when I sit down to think about it the months and years fly by. It's increasingly evident to me the longer we are married.

1 comment:

Jillian said...

I'll send prayers your way. I understand, though my husband doesn't work the night shift, so it's a little different. I don't know how you handle that. It feels like we're mediators all of the time, doesn't it? Perhaps because we are. You can do it!